


It's a Long Story

by Basingstoke



Category: Highlander: The Series, The X-Files
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-05-20
Updated: 2001-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-02 15:24:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basingstoke/pseuds/Basingstoke





	It's a Long Story

1: The Snuggly Ending.

"Cheating on me with Yves, Mulder?" Frohike's affectionate fingers in Mulder's hair belied the anger in the words.

"I thought she was you! It was your voice on the phone message." Mulder widened his eyes at Frohike.

Yves looked up. "Don't get jealous, Melvin, I wouldn't have touched him. He's not my type." She indicated Langly, her fingertips not quite touching his blue forehead. "You know, I think he's really traumatized."

"Bright light," Langly whimpered, and curled into an even tighter ball.

"Oh, jeez." Frohike disentangled himself from Mulder's limbs and crawled over to take a look at Langly. "Ringo! You in there?"

"Bluuuuuuuue," Langly wailed, and hid his face in his arms.

Byers looked back from the front seat. "Is he okay?"

"No," replied Yves and Frohike together.

"Will he be okay?"

Yves and Frohike looked at each other. "I've seen him snap out of worse," Frohike said.

Byers furrowed his brow in thought. "There was that time with the rigged Minesweeper game..."

"...where he had a nervous breakdown because he couldn't beat it. Yeah. That was pretty bad. How did we get him out of it?" Frohike rubbed his chin.

"'Buxom Babes in the Schoolroom of Sin' if I remember correctly."

Mulder snorted. "Byers. I didn't know you could say that without blushing."

"There's a lot about me you don't know, Mulder."

"So we'll scrub him off," Frohike said, "and set him in front of that new video--the one with the tentacles, right? And he should snap out of it."

Byers nodded. "Good thinking."

"What frightening lives you boys lead," Yves said. Frohike showed her the back of his hand, but she stared him down. He crawled back across the van to sit beside Mulder.

"There's one thing I don't get," Jimmy said from the driver's seat.

"One thing?" Mulder muttered. Frohike elbowed him.

"Yes Jimmy?" Byers, as always, was gentle with him.

"How did you get us out, Agent Mulder?"

All eyes turned on Mulder. "That's an excellent question," Yves said, raising one eyebrow. "How did you even know?"

"Well." Mulder cleared his throat. "With what Jimmy told me, I figured you guys were being hunted--it all fit into some other things I'm not at liberty to speak about right now." He cut his eyes at Yves; she blinked in acknowledgment. "Then it was just a matter of calling in favors."

"Favors?" said Byers.

"You still have favors *owed*?" Frohike said.

"Why aren't you at liberty?" asked Jimmy. "You're still walking around." Byers swatted him and Jimmy looked hurt.

"I had one favor owed. It was enough." Mulder shrugged.

Frohike's brows lowered. "Mulder. You didn't."

"It was important!"

"Not...Krycek?"

Byers' eyes widened. Yves flinched almost imperceptibly. Mulder smirked. "When you need something done, you go with the best."

"But--*Krycek*?" Frohike sounded wounded.

"He owes me a lot of favors." Mulder snaked a hand around Frohike's ass; Frohike looked surprised for a minute, then distracted. "So the troops and the lights and the rest were due to him. Pretty tidy, I thought. Did you get anything useful from the vault?"

Langly whimpered. Byers and Frohike shook their heads. "A great big pile of nothing," Byers said.

"Lies," Frohike growled.

"Lies, lies, and damned lies," Mulder said with gusto.

"Lights!" Langly wailed.

Yves inched back from him. "He's not going to start drooling or convulsing, is he?"

"Probably not. But we should get him home."

"Ten minutes, guys!" Jimmy called.

Frohike waggled his eyebrows at Yves. "So are you sleeping over?"

"*No.* I only got in the van because I left my car at your place."

"And yet you secretly adore us." Frohike smiled. Byers looked winsomely at Yves. Jimmy looked winsomely at Byers.

"You're more valuable to me alive than dead," Yves said, and looked at the back of the van.

"Uh-huh."

Jimmy pointed his finger blindly, not taking his eyes off the road. "See, I told you she wasn't some double agent! I told you she wasn't bad!" Byers patted his shoulder and ducked the flying finger. "But you guys were all caught up in the spying conspiracy stuff."

"Jimmy, when you're in this business a little longer, you'll learn that no matter how paranoid you are, you're not paranoid enough," Byers said gently. "We learned that tonight."

"Did we ever," grumbled Frohike.

Mulder leaned on Frohike. "I'll sleep over if you want. I mean, I'd miss my fish, but you've got those boxers with the glowing alien heads that should make me feel right at home." Frohike smiled.

"How sweet," said Yves.

"Hush," said Frohike.

The van lurched to a halt. "We're home!" said Jimmy. "I mean...if you guys don't want me to move out." His face fell.

Byers looked at Frohike. Frohike nodded at Byers. "It's home as long as you want it to be, Jimmy," Byers said. Jimmy's face lit up with an enormous smile.

Yves cleared her throat. "Let me out, please?" Frohike leaned over and tapped in the unlock code. She waved. "Until next time, boys. Agent Mulder." She nodded and disappeared.

"You have been eaten by a Grue," Langly muttered into his arms. "A Grue!"

Frohike sighed. "Jimmy? Do you think you can carry Langly inside?"

"Sure thing!" Jimmy hopped out.

"I'll start a bath. Byers, look for something strong to take this paint off. Mulder, find a good porno for Langly." Frohike patted Langly's cheek. "He's pretty far gone this time. Make it hard-core."

"Yes sir." Mulder saluted.

Jimmy re-entered the van through the back door and slung Langly over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. "Hey--how come you guys are blue?"

Mulder raised his eyebrows. "Good question."

"It's a long story," Byers said.

"We'll tell you while we scrub," Frohike said.

They locked up the van and went inside.

* * *

2: The Noisy Ending.

The van screeched to a halt and Jimmy threw open the back door. "Come on!" The three Gunmen and Yves threw themselves into the van. Jimmy pulled them in safely and yelled "okay, go!" to the driver. The van peeled out as the building exploded behind them.

"Are you guys okay?" Mulder called from the driver's seat.

"We're fine! I think. Is everyone fine?" Frohike looked at the others in turn.

"Yes," Byers said.

"Delightful," Yves said.

"My fucking *nose!*" Langly spat. "You threw me right on the infrared binoculars!" Red dots fluttered down as he rubbed his nose.

"Gee, Langly, I'm sorry," Jimmy said. He pulled the first aid kit from beneath the driver's seat and tried to put a cold pack on Langly's face as Langly batted his hands away.

"Yves?" Frohike asked. "What kind of lady keeps nitroglycerin in her purse?"

She tossed her hair back and smiled sweetly. "My kind."

Mulder wolf whistled. "Ditto!"

"Put a sock in it, love monkey." Frohike climbed into the shotgun seat. "And take us home. WE need to scrub."

"Aye aye, Captain," Mulder said, and winked.

"Oh yeah. Why are you blue?" Jimmy asked, holding a cold pack to Langly's nose.

"It's a long story," Byers replied. "We'll tell you later."

* * *

3: The Sinister Ending.

"I don't like this," said Frohike.

"I hate this," said Byers.

"I despise this," said Yves.

"Well, that's just great," said Langly, "if *she's* sunk then we don't have a chance in hell!"

"Shut up, Langly," Frohike growled. "This isn't the time to panic."

"Well, what *is* it the time for? We're handcuffed in an elevator in a military front company on our way to see Mr. Big Shot! *I* think it's time to panic!" Langly's voice rose in pitch as he shouted.

"Shut *up*, Langly." Frohike frowned. "Okay, everyone shake your cuffs. See if they're loose." They all shook. Nothing was loose. "Yves, do you have anything up your sleeve?"

"They took away my sleeves. I don't even have pockets in this outfit. I wasn't planning to save your hides tonight."

"You don't have *anything*?" Byers asked.

"Just my good looks." Yves gave Byers a smoky glance. Byers gulped.

"We'll play it by ear," Frohike said.

Before anyone else could speak, the elevator stopped. They all waited nervously to see what would happen.

After a long pause, the door opened onto a large steel room, empty but for a desk. A man was sitting behind the desk, looking at them with great interest.

"Krycek!" the Gunmen gasped together. Yves just gasped.

"The Three Stooges," Krycek said, "and--Yves Adele Harlow, I presume."

"I'm sure you already know," she said, lifting her chin.

"I do." Krycek nodded. "Formerly known as Alice McKean?"

Yves kept her mouth shut.

"I know a great deal," Krycek said. He stood up and walked around the desk, coming toward them.

Frohike stepped between Krycek and Yves. "What do you want with her?"

"Yeah, what are you going to do to her?" Byers echoed, standing beside Frohike.

Krycek frowned. "Do to her? Nothing."

"Then why were you looking for her?" Frohike stepped closer to Krycek.

Krycek looked at Yves. "Because she's my long-lost sister."

Yves' mouth rounded into an O.

"Sister?" The three Gunmen spoke at once.

"You didn't think Mulder was the only one, did you?" Krycek smirked. "And why are you painted blue?"

"It's a long story," Byers said. Krycek shrugged and pulled the handcuff key out of his pocket.

* * *

4: The Crossover Ending.

The men in black herded the three Gunmen and Yves along the corridor. Frohike was frowning, looking intense.

"Where are you taking us?" Langly yelled. The MIBs didn't answer.

"Play it cool, Langly," Frohike said, still frowning. Byers looked anxiously at Yves; Yves looked tough and collected.

The MIBs shoved them into a room and the door closed behind them. Another door at the opposite end of the room opened and a strange man in a very nice suit walked through.

"You!" Frohike scowled.

"You." The suit frowned. "I heard you died in London. I suppose it was too much to hope for."

"Many died in London, but I survived."

The suit shook his head. "You're stronger than I thought. What will it take to be rid of you?"

"We can settle this here," Frohike said. "Mano a mano."

"Frohike..." Byers muttered.

"Hush, Byers. This isn't your fight." Frohike never took his eyes off the suit.

"I accept the challenge," the suit said. He opened the door again and motioned to Frohike, who followed him, leaving Byers, Langly and Yves behind.

Yves immediately pulled a jimmy from her hair and pried the cover off the keypad. "I haven't got my box; can you boys hot-wire the door?"

Langly cracked his knuckles. "Stand aside."

Yves stood and let Langly work on the pad. Byers touched her shoulder. "What do you think is going on with Frohike? Did you recognize that guy?"

Yves shook her head. "I don't know that man. The words sounded familiar somehow, but I'm not sure."

"Got it," Langly said. The door whooshed open and they could hear the sound of clanging metal. "What the heck is that?"

"I don't know," Yves said, "but my suspicions just got a lot sharper. Come on."

They crept down the hallway. The clangs grew louder, interspersed with occasional grunts and shouts. "It sounds like they're fighting," Byers whispered.

Yves waved them behind her and crept along to the corner. She peeked around. "Oh, my goodness..."

Langly and Byers piled on top of her and also peered. "Whoa."

The corridor opened onto a large garden space enclosed in lattice and glass windows. Frohike and the suit were swordfighting. "In the SCA we just used duct tape," Langly whispered. "Those things look real!"

"They are real," Yves said.

"What the hell is he doing?"

"Fighting," Byers hissed.

"But why?"

"We'll have to wait and ask him!"

The combatants looked tired. They broke apart and circled around each other, staring into the other's eyes. Frohike had a dark stain that looked like blood down the leg of his pants and the suit's suit was shredded, but neither of them was limping.

Suddenly the suit rushed Frohike. Frohike ducked under the suit's swing and drove his shoulder into the man's hip, making him lose his footing and tumble over onto his back. Frohike whirled around, raised his sword--and cut the suit's head off, just like that.

"Oh my god," Byers whispered.

"I was right," Yves said.

A mist rose from the headless body and swirled around Frohike. Lightning blitzed out of nowhere and Byers, Langly and Yves ducked back behind the wall. Lightning crawled along the walls beside them, making Yves' hair frizzle and stand up. They could hear glass breaking in the windows of the landing and raining down on the concrete floor. Frohike grunted a couple of times as the lightning flickered.

Finally it stopped.

"Think it's safe?" Byers whispered.

"Beats me," Langly replied.

Yves peered around the corner. "Frohike's just lying there...oh, my goodness." She leaped up and scrambled around the corner. Byers and Langly followed.

Yves shuffled her feet through the broken glass. The floor was covered in shards, leaving no place to walk safely.

There were several shards in Frohike's chest. Big ones, covered in blood, and Frohike didn't seem to be breathing. "Frohike!" Byers cried, and rushed over.

"Melvin!" Langly and Byers crouched beside him.

"Pull the glass out," Yves said. "I don't have gloves on. You do. Pull it out and we can get out of here."

Byers' forehead crinkled with worry. "Yves--I don't think he's--"

"I've seen this before. Pull it out."

Langly bit his lip, took hold of a shard and pulled. Blood welled up from the wound. "This is gross!"

"This is Frohike," Byers snapped, and pulled out the other large shard.

Frohike abruptly opened his eyes and sat up. "Hey!"

"Mel!"

Yves smiled. "I thought I was right, and I was right."

"Figures," Frohike said. "What are you ladies doing sitting around? We've got to get out of here." He stood up, wavering a little on his feet. Byers and Langly gave him a hand. "There's a rappel line in my belt. How high up are we?"

"Three stories. A walk in the park," Yves said.

Byers nodded. "Think you can make it, Mel?"

"Sure. Just let me go down first so if I fall I don't cream one of you guys." Frohike patted both their shoulders, then unfastened a pouch from his belt and removed a long, thin line. They made their way over to an outside wall.

"So Frohike."

"Yes Byers?"

"What the hell just happened?"

"We settled an old grudge. Permanently."

"And the lightning?"

"That happened when I took his life force. It's what happens at the end of a fight."

"Ah."

"So, Frohike?"

"Yes Langly?"

"Are you human or some kind of freaky alien guy?"

"You know, that's a good question. We still haven't figured that one out." Frohike knocked out some of the lattice around a support column. "This looks like a nice place."

Yves looked over as well. "Excellent. Nice soft bushes in case we need to drop. So, old man, how old are you?" She smiled.

"I was born in Rome around 500 BC. Good time to be young." Frohike smiled right back and fastened the line.

"Frohike?" Byers said.

"You're two thousand five hundred years old?" said Langly.

"It's a long story," Frohike said. "I'll tell you at the bottom." He climbed backwards out the window and slid down the line.

END.


End file.
